Spoken Alone In A Cell (LXIII)

Stillness, I disrupt it to help order my thoughts once more.
We few here have faced our keepers and our fellows, we have done the impossible and that makes us mighty. We are free within the walls of our prison, for it has become a school and a punishment no longer.
We took what little was offered to us, grains of rice unto a starving man. We ate of them, yet they did not diminish. As we, as I looked closer at them, they could not be used up.
This copying of books, this entrance to The Way seems so easy, yet is so difficult. What labor is it to drag a brush and ink across paper? So little, and yet so much. Through writing the words so many times, I have discovered the usefulness and their uselessness. They served as a bridge to here, and now when I turn back the bridge I built with them has disappeared. I am not bond by dogma, nor ruled by anything but The Way. It has self destructed and left only itself.
I am hungry, but they call me ring leader, and refuse to feed me. I do not hunger anymore anyway.

Lost No More

After the prisoner I spoke with earlier handed me a copy of the Tao Te Ching, I initially refused. However, he encouraged me to take it. I was in a self-examination/metacognitive state, and then I read a note which was in the book. I send you a poem which will clarify my thinking.

The singular way is not one for all
yet all must follow the way
those lost
pursue a way,
those found are on the way.

I was
lost,
clouded in a path of fame and fortune
but a stranger in the distance handed me his map.
The street I was really looking for---was right ahead
I took the turn, and continue on.

I am happy you are on the right road brother, but our streets differ and I must remain.

from the gateway of mainfold secrets

brother,
I value peace and communication. I gave up writing to you in my effort to find peace. I almost valued one higher than the other. I was ready to dismiss communication as a worthless desire. These desires have always been with me. Peace and Communication. To desire the removal of either one, the desire to remove anything, is no different than having the desire in the first place. To quote the Tao Te Ching: "the two are the same, but diverge in name as they issue forth."
I write to you from the gateway of mainfold secrets. I hope you will contact me, and join me here, in peace.

Honored Recipient (XLII)

I do not, and cannot know who will receive this. I tuck this letter into the front of this copy of The Way because one begets two, and two begets three.
By this one letter, I hope you write letters of your own, and do so often. I have heard of some people who cast bottles, corked and waxed, to carry a note wherever the capricious waves will take them. This book is my bottle, and I am glad that it has found its way to you.
Be like the bottle, the book. Through effortless effort, it was brought to you, and so The Way eternally buoys you.
Many were the struggles, and no small amount of blood was shed as well. Feel not sorrowful, be mindful. Those that struggle violently suffer violently too. Those who seek others shall not be alone. Those who seek peace for themselves and those around them will bring it with them. I have seen this truth myself.
May you find Your Way, here in this letter, or here in this book, or here in this world.

Entry

Diary-

I arrived at the village after suffering through much trouble- there was no airport or even train, and I was forced to go by bus. I asked around for Ning, not knowing where he lived since I left shortly after sending him my last letter. Somebody told me they had not seen him lately, but guided me to his home. Not finding him there, I remembered our old "tree house" on the outskirts of town. There was a lone tree in a deserted remote area, and we had put up a makeshift platform. If he had read my letter, I knew he would have left me some note of explanation there. My conjecture was correct, and his note stated he had left to go "seek guidance". Excellent, my trip was for nothing.

However, I reluctantly decided to visit mother and father, and take a look at the whole operation while I was there. Mother was glad to see me, but father even more. Father was very proud of his operation up until the point where the prisoners were rebelling and Ning left on his own journey. Although he was disappointed and quite furious with Ning for leaving, there was a time when he would have wholeheartedly approved, when he was a philosopher and not a businessman.

Father earnestly asked me to accompany him to the "production line" of the text. I agreed, and I got a chance to see what was occurring, what the strike was all about. Having read the note signed V, I found this prisoner and spoke with him. Apparently, the Tao Te Ching became very popular among the prisoners, and some began trying to find their own "Way". In the process, it seems that some sort of rebellion began among a few- some had a problem with father's attempt of cashing in on this supposed priceless text. However, the prisoners sorted out the problem among themselves, and are ready to produce the books again.

Another problem has come up though. Father is a changed man with money, his old cheery and wise ways gone. He talks business now. It struck me- I much liked father the way he was before. Furthermore, witnessing the profound effect of the Tao Te Ching (and the effect of forgetting it) has led me to do some deeper thinking. Give me some time, more later.

Jun

Note for Jun

Jun, I apologize for not leaving any notice of my departure from the household. I knew when you would fail to find me at the house, you'd come looking for answers in the tree house. the safe place of our youth. I too have gone to find a safe place, a peaceful place. After talking with the prisoners, and seeing how they behaved in the face of such attrocities. I go to seek guidance, and after watching events unfold at the prison, I know for myself it can't be found in that setting. the violence, the control, father's domineering. If it can be found in that setting, i am not yet ready to learn that way. I saw too much change in our father, too much irrationality and mother lacks the will to do anything about it.

you may joke about the way and following it's direction / indirection, but I beg you not to leave father with anything. although he's suffering, the money will only further poison him, and bring on more suffering. He is capable of being saved, and living a good life. I imagine I will return in many years, but it may be sooner, it may be later, it might be never. If I am to return, then I will return. Do not try to find me.